Away a year? No way!

However sadly it's true. I've been away from LJ a little bit over a year! Talk about time flying crazy like.

A lot has happened this past year, with more stuff on the way. I'll actually be trying to keep up with LJ from now on. Expect more to come soon!
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    okay okay

An important announcement for everyone I know.

First off I was hoping to post a bit more here in detail as to recent happenings. However I haven't been able to sit down and get it all written out. So I am going to just touch on one recent and important event.

Some of you out there have been hearing some rumblings through the grapevine. I want to go on an official record here and tell it to you straight from my end. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to contact me.

I am no longer a part of Infam0us Productions. I am also no longer working with DJ Infam0us (Bobby Scarbrough) in any and all capacity. I am no longer handling complains/concerns/questions for the company, it's projects and events, and anything regarding DJ Infam0us. All of my commitments and duties to the company and to DJ Infam0us have come to an end.
Bobby and I have parted ways on good and friendly terms. We are still friends, and there is no ill feelings between us. I can't say that I am entirely happy with the outcome, however it is an outcome based in merit, and one that I've accepted. I will be moving on.
I wish DJ Infam0us all the best with his endeavors and events and the sincere hope that he is successful in everything he does.

Despite not being part of Infam0us Productions anymore, I'm still going to continue on with helping, developing, managing/coordinating, and creating events; continue spinning tunes (Dr. Ford VonFitch is not going away!), and help out when I can to make things all the more fun and exciting for everyone out there. Lord knows we need it!

I am taking a break from a lot of things to ensure that I put some long standing matters in order. I have too many things I need to resolve before I can effectively proceed with aspects of my life. I must proceed!
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    drained drained

(no subject)

When the muse hits you as they say.....yea ok. I felt about putting something down that I wanted to share. Don't know who will read this but hey I don't care. Not like I have much I must keep to myself. Enjoy, and if you have some input, please feel free to share.

I am putting serious thought into moving out of NW Arkansas. Despite all the drama, bullcrap, and chaos that is here I don't mind the place at all. This is not a bad place to live. Hell of a lot better than where I've been before. However I'm kind of thinking that it may be time to go experience life elsewhere. Part of this is due to the job situation. For those of you wondering, yes I have been looking and applying for work beyond graphic artist related jobs. I have been broadening my search and work potential for some time now.
Ah but where to go? So far I am considering three locations so far. However I am open to possibilities of other places.

The first location I'm gonna keep to myself for awhile. I'm not entirely comfortable with on account of not knowing many people and it being pretty cold and icy during the winter. However I have family support to get established there, and a few friends in the extended region. It would be a pretty new start overall. It's also really close to GenCon, so I'll be able to make the big show every year without much trouble.
The second place I've highly been considering is Seattle. The weather is overall pretty good (and I can handle the gray skies without a problem), I really like the place, and I have a lot of friends there. It too is a fresh start in an area that peaks my interests a bit more than the first. Unlike the first location, I have a bit of a network to rely upon. No family there for support in case if things go bad. Costs there are going to be a problem too, the only major downside to it. There is a lot of cool stuff to do and fun places to explore. Perhaps some opportunity as well.
Third place is Atlanta. I happen to really like it out there as well. I have a lot of really good friends there, many that I know well, and there are a lot of things to do there that I would be interested in. I know the overall area well, and how to get around the city and surrounding area better than the first two. Costs are a problem, however not as bad as Seattle. My network there is far more established. I have been hesitant on considering moving due to a lot of the crappy incidents that happened about 4-5 years ago. However that crap is long over, I've sorted myself out, I've sorted stuff out with several others that were effected, the issues have been worked out, and everything that was negative is long over and gone with. So in short, null issue, bad stuff gone, everything back to as close to normal as can be expected. Crap long aside I am looking keenly at the potential of moving again, or at the least a long overdue visit. I miss my friends Dave, Mike, Teresa, Dave M., Travis, Susan, Diana, and everyone else. It's been way too long.

So where to now? Got three places with potential. Perhaps others may come up. Who knows. Maybe I'll get a push or a reason to choose one. Perhaps I will fall into something else. Perhaps I will just stay here in NW Arkansas a little longer. I don't know yet. Guess that's what makes it all interesting. Right now I am open to anything and everything.
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    thoughtful thoughtful

(no subject)

I need to use this bloody thing more. So far this year I've just posted a lot of weird stuff, and things that are way out there. Guess it's kind of a reflection of my life right now. Lot's of stuff way out there.

Here is a sample of things.

-Looking to move in temporarily with my parents here next month at the end of my lease. I'm not entirely happy about doing this and this is one of the biggest things I've been trying to avoid. Let's just say as much as we love and respect one another. We don't entirely get along in a living situation. Not to mention the fact I prefer to be out on my own.
However after a tally of the facts, and my current life status, the benefits do outweigh everything else. When I get my job situation resolved I'll actually be able to save money and get me a better place to live in than where I am at now. It will also be easier for me to get work elsewhere and be able to move. Something I am taking into more and more serious consideration. Or perhaps be able to work elsewhere on a temporary basis and not have to worry about keeping up an apartment and the worry of what's happening with my crap.
I'm at a new stage in life right now. Time to figure out where I am going to go with it and what I am going to do.
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    chipper chipper

When someone steps over your grave.......

Don't intend to sound weird and crazy, but I got a feeling something major is going on or going to happen. Felt should say something somewhere, this is as good a place as any. I hate it when I get these feelings. They tend to come out to be true one way or another. Also puts me ill at ease, especially tonight. Rather creepy.

Be safe people and watch your butts a bit more than usual.
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    nervous nervous

Random thoughts.

Just some stuff going through my head as I wait to see if things will be changing in my world tomorrow.

It's an integral part of all humanity, human existence, and well everything human to recognize the truth that there is something greater than us all. Over the centuries and possibly longer we have come up with all kinds of ideas as to what this "greater aspect" is and what it's all about. However out of all the interpretations of this "greater aspect" as everything from gods to the fundamental workings of the universe, the fact remains that no matter how you label it, the greater aspect exists. To deny it is to deny one of the greatest truths of existence. At least from our limited human standard.

I think the problem is that so many people are caught up in the limited views, beliefs, and dogma that has been generated to poorly define the "greater aspect" of the universe, they loose sight of this truth of existence.

I admire the and respect atheists, agnostics, and related people (many who are friends) for their desire to deny God in favor of rational and realistic thought. Most all of them want to bring some sense, thought, and order to things. This is something I am all about. The only way we are going to progress is not get bogged down in dozens of conflicting opinions and views.

I admonish them however to take time to realize that the thing they truthfully deny (and rightfully so in many respects) is the limited views of God, and not God that defines represents the "greater aspect". If you go so far as to say there is no "greater aspect", you are truthfully closing YOUR mind and creating a view as limited as those people out there who say the King James Version of the bible is only truth, the literal truth, and that's the way it happened. Sadly this is what is happening quite a bit. I wish people would see this more, it might help to clear up a few things. In short folks, rebel against the party line of what the concept is, but don't throw the concept out the window! If you are about keeping an open mind, don't close an aspect because you don't agree with how the aspect is presented or supposedly defined.

If this "greater aspect" exists then what is it? This is something that you must find out and define for yourself. For no church, shaman, priest, yogi, budda, wise man, pastor, synagoge, scientist, theorist, or otherwise learned person can entirely tell you is right. Everyone has a piece of the puzzle, it's up to you to discover it in your personal search and creation of belief to get the facts and create an understanding. You also have to realize that nobody is going to have the entirely same view as you do, however you will recognize that which no matter what is the same.

Perhaps one day I'll go about explaining myself better, heck maybe even write a book.
I think it's time that people quit denying what is out there and truthfully search for it for once rather than getting bogged down and closing their minds, on both ends.

Ok enough of the deep thought, back to the everyday for the time being.

(no subject)

A random thought to put up for the day.

I firmly believe that God exists.
However I also believe that the greater majority of people cannot see or grasp God's true nature. Sadly they cling to limited views and interpretations claiming said views are what God is all about. This is not God.
God has no limit, God cannot be definitively defined, God cannot be fitted into a box for easy consumption. That's the problem most people face, they try to make interpreting God easy. Of course these views do not always hold water, as many atheists have pointed out.
Unlike what many atheists would say, I will say these people aren't entirely at fault. When one learns from a certain information source, that is all one can see. These people who have these limited views are only at fault if this is all they cling to, and don't open their minds to what else is out there.

I personally can't claim to know, define, or understand God. I can say that from personal experience, I know God exists and I have a pretty good idea of what is is that makes up and defines that which is greater, and a part of us all. It's far more than one can possibly imagine.
As with all things I am still learning, questioning, and seeking and keeping an open mind.
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    thoughtful thoughtful

The Next Step!

I've got quite a bit to write about in the near future. Stay tuned, for I plan to use this blog for all it's worth during this year. I am kicking up my online presence in more ways than one.

Back to trying to find a job to pay the bills and advancing myself so that I can be out and about more!
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    determined determined

Where do I got to from here?

I've been seriously looking at my situation as of recent. I guess it's because I now have the time.

I got a job recently. I've not been advertising much about it because I don't know how long I will have it because it is a temp job. I hope it lasts awhile, I really really need it. I'm not ready to celebrate being employed until I know I am solidly employed.

Ravenwood is over. It was a good time, even though I spent most of it working and helping people out. Which of course I love doing. However I am not entirely happy with it, nor with a lot of stuff surrounding it. I will, for now, leave it at that.
I in some small way believe I could have done better on my part. However I look back at, and listen to others tell me how much I have done, and I don't worry about it as much. I have strong feelings about it all, not all happy, however we are laying the foundations for something amazing that will blow the roof off of any Steampunk event done in the world. And that's profound for a place as disorganized and out of the way as Northwest Arkansas. Doing something that will not only, and truly put us on the map, but make us a FEATURE on the map.
As long as people involved don't loose their heads and fuck it up, a lot of this year's crap and trouble will be a moot point and one that will only be a bad memory. We can get on to really laying down the party!

This has been a very mixed year. Granted nothing

Now I have some time to myself again, and I'm coming to the realization that has always been there, yet never fully gone through. It's time to move to the next level, and do something new with myself, and once again make the transition to being someone better.

I've ignored many friends, my art, aspects of my life for mixed reasons. I need to reconnect and reestablish bonds that have been strained.
I've let many of my visions that I've been working on for years remain just that, visions. Visions that need to take form.
Most importantly, I need to take care of myself better, and push to continue to become a better person. This has begun and I've finally realized many truths, and realized and seen the potential of what is out there for me. I have grown and changed in the past few years, however it's time to take it further.

No time like the present to get things started.
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    thoughtful thoughtful

Writer's Block: Doh!

What is the dumbest thing you've ever done?

It's a tossup. However I guess I could say that the worse thing would be letting my biggest problem in life take over, and get the better of me. Opposed to not worrying about it and trying to do better against it in smart ways, and work through it despite the chance of perceived failure looming over me. The negative and confused aspects took over to make it what I never wanted it to be, and all that I feared it would be.
It nearly cost me some good friendships, and has played with my emotions, passions, feelings, feelings about and for people, and otherwise kept me from going in the right direction to make my problem a problem no longer. Messed me up pretty good.

I still have the problem in my life, however it now does not control me like it did. I am striving to overcome it and finally make it a null issue.